Today's CelebNewsWire Tomfoolery |
| Nudie Keeley Makes Us Want a Feelie Posted: 31 Jul 2009 10:01 AM PDT  It's really hard to keep up with huge-hootered British biddies who drop their duds for topless photo shoots. There are just so many of them! And they're all pretty damn hot. So pretty soon one starts to melt in another and all you see are big boobies staring at you in a winking, "'ello, guv'ner" manner and it's just too much to take. You can't remember who's who or when you last saw her sandbags. There is one exception though: Keeley Hazell. Miraculously, in a country seemingly full of gorgeous, giant-gazonga'd gals willing to get naked, Keeley stands out. If she were American, she probably would have ended up just another porn star, but she's English, so she's a fashion model without the fashion. Totally different and totally classy. But anyway, on with the nudes! After the cut see some truly amazing black-and-white (see, we told you she was classy) pics of Keeley Hazell nude. Sure they're a bit out-of-focus and of unknown origin, but it's not like that will keep you from looking. |
| Posted: 31 Jul 2009 09:24 AM PDT  Yesterday we noticed a headline somewhere or other asking, "Why does the internet hate Katherine Heigl?" And we thought, "Gee, I dunno, could it be because she talks shit on every project she's involved in and thinks the material is insulting and beneath her?" That might be it. But it's not just the internet that hates her. Seth Rogen does too. He finally responded to remarks Katherine made a while back calling Knocked Up, a.k.a. the movie that made her a star, sexist. Says Us Weekly: Rogen says he doesn't see how Heigl's new comedy, The Ugly Truth, makes women look even better.We've been pretty much over Seth Rogen for a while now, as his new skinniness just freaks us out, but calling out Katherine Heigl for pretty much declaring herself the supreme queen of Hollywood is awesome. If only he could have fit in a jab about her smoking habit or mispronounced her name. |
| Posted: 31 Jul 2009 08:51 AM PDT  You may have noticed that Lindsay Lohan went blonde again, a decision we do not at all endorse. Red hair on Lindsay makes us think of happy things, like Mean Girls, while blonde hair on Lindsay makes us think of disgusting and horrifying things, like Dina. But there may be a reason for this ill-advised switch: Linds is trying to get someone—anyone—to put up the cash for her to play the Marilyn Monroe role in a remake of Some Like It Hot. Somehow we don't think even ABC Family is going for this one. Says The San Francisco Chronicle: According to OK! magazine, director Brett Ratner has already rejected the idea, but Lohan isn't giving up.This is just a bad bad bad bad bad idea. First of all, Lindsay has enough problems without making Marilyn her role model. Sure, the whole affair with the president thing would be fun to reenact, but then there's that part about dying young from a drug overdose. We don't think Lindsay needs to tempt fate any more than necessary on that front. And second, Some Like It Hot is a pretty perfect movie and would be really hard to measure up to. Why not take on Marilyn's never-finished film, Something's Got to Give? She could give an incomplete piece of art a new life, plus, she'd look pretty damn hot in that skinny-dipping scene. |
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Bradley Cooper takes Jennifer Aniston out and the media makes a big stink about it. He then, a few nights later, takes Renee Zellweger out and the media makes an even bigger stink about it. Then nothing. Okay, I just wanted to catch everyone up on what’s happening in this absurd love triangle. I would think that maybe Renee and Bradley are maybe quietly dating. Or maybe Bradley’s at home giggling to himself about how a nobody has made such a big stink in Hollywood. But, neither or those scenarios is true. In fact, if Bradley is with anybody, it’s with Jennifer and the two are keeping a very, very low-pro. Like, secret handshake kind of low-pro.
While her ex-husband, Jon Gosselin, has been out trying to get with just about anything he sees, Kate Gosselin has been sticking close to home with her kids and has been seeming to have some sort of struggle with the new divorce. While Kate rarely talks to paparazzi, this is certainly a case of actions speaking louder than words.
Michael Jackson’s
